Culture Vulture 'Off' switch.......

27 Nov - 3 Dec

Hoi an

Van Loi hotel
Old town
Found a beach - Cua Dai.....It's nice......
My son

Brillabong.......The rain started.
Start: Mental picture Me + usual beachbum gear of short & a 'T'
Add: Wall of water
Add: Frantic sprint from store to store to find one that had anything waterproof
Now Add: Bright Pink Waterproof coat......only colour available......apparently!
Add: Squish to local cafe for soggy sandwich looking a prize prawn
Add: Tartan Umbrella Salesman - Then Cafe owner's knowing nod & advice that I had paid over double what I should have for 2 brollies (I know someone somewhere who is also nodding knowingly about that!).

= I am currently walking around looking like a condom.....A Ripped-off Scottish(ish) condom......Brilliant!

Doesn't quite do exactly what it says on the tin

Jungle Formula - Spray liberally on exposed areas to give your skin an 'Mmmmm Ketchup' like quality + soon all the mosquito's will be loving that 'Jungle Formula' flava!

24 - 27 November

Hue.......pronounced hhwaaaa....y. probably should be pronounced Phew as it's about 40 degrees.

Asia Hotel
Citadel
Perfume River cruise on a 'dragon boat' (Thien Mu Pagoda; Minh Mang tomb; Hon Chen temple)

Hanoi.....Err.......Rocks!

November 18 - 23

Flight Hong Kong - Hanoi

I remember when I was in 'Nam.........*Graaaaagghhh!* - Vietnam, The NAM(e) conjures such delights as War; Suffering; Paddy fields; Funny Pointy Hats; NApalM; Marlon Brando going MAADD!; Paul Hardcastle ...... err.....N.n.n.n.n.n.n.n.n.n.n.n.n.n.nineteen........

Bit of a surprise then that my first objective opinion on the place was 'F'n Mopeds' but I like surprises! as the N.n.n.nineteenth (is that getting tired yet) in about as many seconds meeps; buzzes & swerves past I realise a Hanoi Obsession .....
(*brilliant*) .......Everyone has a bike. Combine that with the Asia wide highway code of: Do anything - Just dont hit anything (+ my own code of 'Just shut your eyes .... + dont stop/look back/even think about stopping or looking back') & the fun in the streets around + about our hotel never ends. Yoke wielding cone hats on 2 wheels with smiles babble & beep the day + night away.

The Anh Dao (means 'Cherry Blossom' - should mean 'sixth floor bit of a pit but at 8 quid a night mustn't grumble too much 'though I'm pretty sure the scrabbling sound that has woken me up for the past few nights is a rodent of some kind' but the staff are really friendly so I guess the (ok i'm exaggerating) rabied gnaw marks on my shins will heal: i'm jabbed up & i'm sure I'll remember my time here fondly') is in the old quarter of the city.....errr.....so called because it's an area that .... ummm... covers less than a third of the city......and......has been here for a bit. In fact it used to be called 'Ye Olde Towne of Hanoie' and was populated by gear stick-wielding hells angels; yokel-flinging dragon snurfers; chopstick jugglers & slightly-crazed puppeteers back in the day 'ere before records were kept Yarg!......

Dont get me started on Puppets. OK - the ticket cost a quid & we had fair warning that it was like 'watching Punch + Judy on water'. But every guidebook sells it as a 'must-see'....'never to be missed event'......'once in a lifetime experience'. It was surreal - A theatre full of non Vietnamese adults (OK, apart from the kid sat next to me who was the only person present who actually 'got' it) watching a Vietnamese language show....for kids.....that was........basically......Punch & Judy on Water ('cept they had dragons instead of crocs). When I look back on my life, it will either be:

- The best quid I ever spent & the single moment that changed my very existence.
- The moment I realised that I actually hated Punch & Judy from a very early age anyway.
- The moment I realised that after the age of 5 we do all indeed go insane.
- Another memory I blank for fear o' the demons

Cyclo ride to the Temple of Literature - I paid 100'000 DONNGGG!!!! (currently my fave name for a currency!), & found out later I should have paid about 10'000 for the trip (stop laughing Robyn!!! - Par for the bleedin' course - Thinking of adopting the slightly ironic name of Billy Barter due to my less than spectacular deal-sealing skills) Temple was kinda nice to wander around as it is about a thousand years old + is pretty much in honour of Confucious.

Confucious said something like: 'If you want to be known, you must at first become worth knowing' - could be applied to loved; respected ....... bizarrely also works for 'something' ...umm....or not.

Confucious also wrote 'I saw some piglets suckling their dead mother. After a short while they shuddered and went away. They had sensed that she could no longer see them and that she wasn't like them any more. What they loved in their mother wasn't her body, but whatever it was that made her body live.'

Interesting that Confucianism is still popular here, particularly when you consider the context of the above quotes and relate it to the fact that on visiting the Mausoleum of Ho Chi Minh you get to see 'Uncle Ho' in all his 30 year embalmed glory. Guards are everywhere + anyone showing disrespect (which apparently includes putting your hands in your pockets!) will be ejected immediately (It is veryvery difficult to not laugh......or is that just me?)etc. Fact: Ho Chi Minh wanted to be cremated. I can respect the right of the people to love their leader, even though they didnt respect him enough to respect his last wishes. Maybe a garish gold statue would have sufficed.......or a song........or a public holiday.........or putting his face on all the banknotes........or naming a city after him........Hmmmm......?

Sin Jow - Means Hello

The vietnamese have 4 mythical creatures that they revere:

The Phoenix - (Air (+ fire?)) A bird that flaps around trying to disguise the fact that it is on fire whilst using the air said flaps generates to put out said fire because it isnt aware that water would prob do the trick a bit quicker.
The Dragon - (Fire (+ earth?)) A huge scaly monster that breathes fire & generally lays about in caves on bones guarding damsels from knights and flying around setting birds alight and making some people believe they are as mythical & mighty even though they are actually just birds that were set on fire by the dragon in the first place.
The Unicorn - (Earth) A horse with a pointy cone head that runs around chasing the cone & gets stuck in trees (no, not 'call the fire brigade, there's a unicorn stuck in the tree'. but, 'the stupid horse has run into the tree and needs to have his pointy bit knocked back out of the trunk again!')
The Tortoise - (Water)......A Tortoise........ Hold-on - A mythical beast of water, of the deep.....what could it be? - A Kracken, one of those great octopus/squid betentacled sea monsters....Yaaarrrrr......err.....Naaaarrrrr. Maybe a spirit to guard the paddy fields?......Nope!.......Aaahhh! - A mermaid/man - getting colder - A Tortoise...........Brilliant!.

The day after the day befores headlines told of 13 people killed; boats overturned and capsized and smashed that night.......we had almost booked an overnight at Halong Bay but decided to just do it in a day....... The bay (Ha Long means 'descending Dragon.....Wooooo!....err....Raaaarrrr!!!) is quite beautiful and chillin' on a boat for too many hours reminded me of a time on the Backwaters of Kerala 'bout a year ago (H'aight!). The driver stopped on the way back during a pretty severe lightning storm as what sounded like bricks hitting the bus were actually larger than fist sized hailstones....the same storm hit Halong soon after & the people there weren't so lucky.......

Is it Henry, The Mild-mannered Janitor........

......Could Be!

November 14 - 17

Hong Kong - The Ding to Kowloon's DONG!!!!; The ying to its yang; the rich to its poor; clean to dirty.....I could go on. A world apart seperated by a small stretch of water.

Anna Sui (pronounced swee) is beautiful + one of HK's top models. She has just released a new perfume called...... Anna Sui!!!.............Golden shower anyone?.............anyone?

The metro system is cheap; clean & quick. 10 mins from our Kowloon pit + we're in Central Downtown H.K. Another 10 on foot & in a bar in trendy Lam Kwai Fong with suits & hookers for company.

Kowspewn

November 10 - 13

Yangshao 'Chasing cars' to Guilin - Shenzen - Kowloon. Overnight train prob about 1000k.

Me.Kowloon.Sick.sad.

The whole trip has been through Mandarin speaking China. As well as not speaking much English, everything is written in calligraphic symbols (internet cafe is 2 'x's inside 2 boxes! - which means I can find an internet cafe, but im a bit buggered if I want to find, say, a toilet....or a restaurant.....or a hotel ....the list goes on!)). Some places do write things in a version that the western eye would recognise, but everything seems to have J Q X Y + Z in it - Brilliant!. Kowloon is a cantonese speaking area, which means that everything is still written in symbols, and the Western versions seem to be all fook, kok + sook.....confusing...Yes......Hilarious.....Yes!

Arrival Kowloon. About half the group have already been sick this past week, + one of the gals has been all morning on the train - I feel 'a bit funny'. Soon after I am a qualified spewdent in the art of the Hurl and it dont get much worse n'that (plus I'd had a Mackie D's which didnt taste particularly great the first time round!!!!)

Ho-hum. At least the convulsions have stopped. Missed the 'last' night of the tour where everyone gets to have a few + say bye properly which i'm pretty gutted about. Still, it was a fantastic experience + met some really lovely people.

Deep stuff about journeys (it will be deep; it will be about journeys.......but it wont be about journeys to the deep) - I have already experienced far more on both an emotional + spiritual level than I thought possible when I left. The reason I wanted to travel was to learn more about the World, & also my place in it. I have physically travelled thousands of miles and seen some amazing things, but it is probably the other aspects of the journey that have had the biggest impression so far. That isnt to say that China hasn't left a (haaawwkk.....spit! hahaha) impression on me. (I take the 'P' quite a bit (who....me?) about the people smoking & spitting but they were great and really friendly (why wouldnt they be) just the habits they had took some getting used to!), and as for the scenery.....I cant wait to get back there someday & see some more......As for the other journeys.....well I guess I'm only really just on those paths, so we'll just have to wait and see......

Soundtrack to China: The Shins' Chutes too narrow

First time thru Kowloon Park + A wise looking guru sage & his young be-turbaned apprentice stopped me to say I have a 'lucky face'! + that I will receive 3 bits of good news in the near future.......Second time Thru the same park......Bird shits on my shoulder. Brilliant! - cant wait til I get to Vietnam, them got elephants!

I name thee Cock rock

November 6 - November 9

5 hrs on a bus from Yichang to Wuhan followed by a train to Guilin (Gwillin) followed by another 1 hr bus to Yangshao.

Apparently The Chinese (as they are known), believe different colour tea and veggies are good for different parts of the body. Yellow is for Strength as if has Vit C; Red has Vit A + is good for the Brain; Black is good for the lungs (*cough* which is why so many consume it!) and I bet you can guess what Green is good for....Haaaaawwwwkkkkkk!.....Nope! - actually the heart!

Yangshao is a backpacker town. Limestone Karsts loom around it creating a fortress like wall. I love it, it is unique. That is all.

How did I end up here? :
A place, no more'n a couple of mud huts called Fuii that literally left me in Puii! - miles from reality/sanity/sanctuary/civilisation on a small boat with one oar I go round + round. So still the odd shimmer like a heatwave on my winding wet lane. The Phallic Karsts I paddle & flap about summon names to my immature mind - a reverie chant: "Turtle Head'; 'Nipple mount'; 'The Nob' etc.... 3 hours of quiet just letting the over-polluted; 'look another dead fish'; 'Why does my hand come out brown when I skim the surface?'; 'What IS that smell?' river carry me. I fall out of my boat & soaked thru drip down streets of a town I couldnt have named better myself.....Puii!

The Kayaking followed a day of Mountain-biking which was....BRILLIANT! - away from the relative hustle of Yangshao through farmers fields dodging water buffalo. We climb Moon Hill and look out over miles + miles of hazy terraced fields + Karsts.

All aboard the good ship Dong FAng Zhi Xi Ng.....?

My attempts at cheating proved unrealistic as:
1- I checked this image the day after we had finished playing.
2- Michelle didnt win this game anyway.

aka:Dawn French said I look like Ricky Gervais......I asked if it was my belly; chins or face.......or maybe it was because of the way I dance.

November 2 - November 5

Yangtze cruise - 3 days on a 'Chinese' first class vessel featuring:

Mice on board (not on the menu) - BRILLIANT!
The delightful odour raw sewage makes.....Not sure you ever really get used to it!
Flem + smoke - Obviously
A BIG Horn - On the boat, generally honked at least 4 times during the night HOOONNK!
Shithead - Cardgame I am not very good at
Mah Jongg (chingQong) - Another game I'm not too good at + I get beaten at by the same person (U know who you are!!!....x) - The game involved squeeking out 'chi' at some point or 'POONNNGGG!!!! in a really deep vader-like voice....It was relevant to the game I think.....
Hand counting Mandarin stylee - (ee; ar; san; sir; wo; ljo; chi; ba; jyo; shir)
Karaoke - Alan (again) Taxman (I lasted about 1 minute) + Hey Jude.....

Took an excursion that veered past sheer drops and rockslides (and some amazing views) to look at the (HOHOHO) Greeeeen Dragon! - Waterfall. Which was basically a waterfall with no green dragon in sight; to mention or anywhere in the vacinity. I didnt even see any smoke or trace of droppings or scattered bones or anything to suggest there ever was a dragon there so felt a bit mis-informed really.

Next day excursion up a tributary to see the lesser gorges and realise the effect that the Damn dam is having on the water-level and also the environment. Haunting song by the blokey on the boat which really set the mystical tone.....our group were asked to sing something after + 'she'll be coming round the mountain' or somesuch wailed out...I didnt like to laugh.....but did. Returned early evening to see the Wuxia Gorge (described in brochures as the most beautiful of all the gorges) but pretty sure it would have looked better in daylight. Rode a lightning storm for a few hours with sheet & forks of all colours followed by more 'Alan-oke' as I share the Mic for a version of Taxman that produced seepage......

There is a lot more I could write about the cruise though, it really was an amazing journey that I will never forget.

Off the boat and onto the Damn Dam site - It is 2300m long! so I guess if huge concrete monstrosities that destroy the environment for the basic justification that they will make piles of money are your thing then you would prob ejaculate plentifully at the merest sniff of the place......I'll remember it for being the place that I purchased 'The Most Expensive Mah Jongg Set in The World' therefore putting more money into the corporate coffers and probably leading to the destruction of the homes of the poor people who made the set in the first place. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

Chongqing chinaman

November 2

8 hrs busride EmeiShan to Chongqing (chongching).... guess at about 600km

The last thing I need is time to think.

Dont know why looking out of windows at the world rushing past in blur always hypnotise. The shapes floating past of poor and worker all making time for the land as this beautiful mosaic patchwork of allotments and steppes a food tapestry for a growing nation in (techno)color but mostly shades of green with rice paddy reflections. A river green with lillies thick snakes through without a hint of a glint from the sun on water.

Dont know if you need a fortune to be fortunate?

The time you spend in a place opens your eyes to the people you see. I am sure that when I arrived I would have seen one same-look race in a bus queue before turning away now I can see different hair; jaws; eyes; smiles and styles.....people all with different roles & goals in the grand scheme of whatever.

Then ChongQing is huge. A Boomtown city home to 7 million, a further 30 (THIRTY) million live in the suburbs. Everywhere you look see cranes poking thru the polluted downtown blanket of smog. and more buildings going out+out; up+up.

New Mandarin.....
Pijui (peejew) - Beer! (H'aight!)
Wo Yao (wo Yow) - I would like
Wo Bu Yao (wo boo yow) - I would not like

So.....wo bu yao xiexie - I dont like thanks!

Bo Ka Chi (boo ka chi) - You're welcome!

Emei Shan........Emei Bloomin' Shan't!

30 October - 1 November

Shan means mountain. Emei means eyebrow. Emei Shan is one of the '5' sacred mountains in China (the other four being lip; cuticle; lobe and ugly red birthmark in the shape of a pointy hill). Emei Shan - Mount Eyebrow.

The next 3 days will be spent at some Buddhist monasteries. Quiet in the peaceful twilight, our first night's abode The Badguo monastery. Arrive late and tiptoe to rooms, whispering farewells to new friends and travel bud's so's not to waken the monks from their slumber.

5am......BONGG! - monks begin their.....BONGG! morning chants.

BONGG! - CHANT! - BONGG! - CHANT!.............For Bongg's sake!

Still dark 2 hours later on a bus then cable car + walk up to the peak of the 'Brow - The brochure said we'd see 'breathtaking'; 'spectacular'; 'enlightening'; 'spiritual' views.

We saw ........ Fog.

There is a 50ft high gold statue to Buddha (inc elephants) at the top - Fog so thick I almost walked into it! - Nuff said.

Our guide instructs us all to wish from the peak, stumbling in the general direction of what must be a sheer drop I fire off my desire that a few ailments be cured.....being compulsive.....(Stupid compulsion!!!!) I then thieve a quick second which I regret 2 hours later where near the mounts base soaked thru my 'bird' flu is givin me the chills but the Sun is laughing it's rays down on us.......

Stroll the afternoon away through parks past temples and flora and streams and monkeys.....a really lovely place even if the malaise is occasionally ruptured by spine-wretchingly good nosegobs. Our walks destination is a remote monastery on the mountain called Hongchongping which probably means 'ATTENTION! THIS MONASTERY IS A LONG WAY FROM CIVILISATION AND YOU WILL NEED TO BE EXTREMELY FIT TO CONQUER THE VAST NUMBER OF STEPS (1200) THAT NEED TO BE CLIMBED TO REACH THE DAMP AND RATHER UNPLEASANT SMELLING ROOMS THAT YOU WILL COLLAPSE INTO SHOULD YOU EVER REACH THEM (WHICH IS UNLIKELY BECAUSE OF THE NUMBER OF STEPS THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN WARNED ABOUT SEVERAL TIMES) IF YOU DO REACH THE TOP OF THE STEPS YOU ARE GUARANTEED A CRAP NIGHTS SLEEP AND YOU WILL THEN NEED TO GO BACK DOWN THEM ALL AGAIN TO LEAVE! - oh & THE SQUAT TOILETS HERE ARE ACTUALLY BLACK HOLES AND EVERYTHING DROPPED INTO THEM REAPPEARS IN ANOTHER DIMENSION AS SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN ANYWHERE YOU COULD IMAGINE.....'

Almost crawling at the top I lurch to our exceedingly damp room (v.good for the cold!) and enjoy the chill + peace + quiet. Meal at the monasteries local joint the 'Hard Wok cafe' (BRILLIANT! - I dont know who thought of that, but I bet they dont pay her enough!) is fun and we stagger back tired looking forward to a long relaxing nights sleep at about midnight.

5am......BONGG! - monks begin their.....BONGG! morning chants.

BONGG! - CHANT! - BONGG! - CHANT!.............For Biggidy Bongg's sake!

BIGiddy Buddha

October 30

Bus to LeShan. Zealots gather to glimpse the BIG Buddha (which isn't too difficult as he's a Buddha + very BIG, in fact at 71m high + the size of a cliff it is probably the BIGgest Buddha I have ever seen - to be here + miss him would be a miracle of almost BIG Buddha like proportions!)

Back in 713ad. Haitong, a particularly bored monk, was tired of looking out at a blank rock face from his cave. He decided that a carving of his favourite omnipotent being was defo in order. After getting *planning permission thru the ruse that said deity's presence would calm the turbulence of the dadu & min rivers where they met below, he embarked on a project that so impressed his idol that he didn't see it's completion as he reached his own sell-by date well before.

The BIG Buddha is spectacular; pink.....+ ever so slightly surreal

*probably not true

eats bamboo & shoots

Back row L-R - Terri; Andy; Michelle; Robyn; Alan; BIG Golden Panda; Ali; Scott; & spot the obvious bloody tourist!
Front row L-R - Lori; Ali; Shannon; Tracey; Noralie



Ali's attempt at the new version of 'pin the tail on the donkey' was a winner!


29 October

Xi'an + 16 hours - 1 train - 800km = Chengdu

Concrete monster town of block upon block of apartment homes in pastel shades that become shells with cranes for antannae on + on so many homes. Finally eaten by the mountain range that runs 'til dark and daylight awakens a new city.

Chengdu is in Sichuan, Central China and is home to 4m (not inc Panda's). The gateway to Tibet so loads of monks wander the streets in colourful robes spitting and smoking.

BIG cuddly B+W who'd prob give a shoot of Bamboo (or 2) to be alone with the cause of the irritating sparks that go off + off + off as he eats to flash; sleeps to flash + the white noise when he poops would make a lesser bear constipate. The Panda Research Centre (bit like a zoo.....but with Panda's) is home to 42 bears (inc 9 babies). We click; point; laugh + learn a bit whilst we are here.

I obviously applaud the sentiment of any org that acts to save a species, but these Panda are observed 24/7 + the idea that they will someday be ready to re-introduce to the wild is surely a sad pipe-dream + kind of indicitive of the world we live in.

It is better to be alive in captivity than extinct.....

Introduced to 'Jing-Jing' the mascot for the Bijing 2008 Olympics. The 5 mascots for the Games are:

Bei-Bei - A Fish
Jing-Jing - A Panda
Huan-Huan - Saint Fire for the Games
Ying-Ying - A Tibetan Antelope
Ni-Ni - A Swallow

Bei-Jing-Huan-Ying-Ni means - 'Come to Beijing & Spit!' (actually means Welcome to Beijing......)

'Jing-Jing' is being taken to Beijing in the next few days where she will be 'taught' to wave for the opening ceremony (anyone thinking 'aaaaahhhhh' should first search for 'dancing bears' on the net, & then do a bit more searching for their souls) sure she will be 'encouraged' with sticks; tranquilisers; stones; electric-wands - all for the sake of 'research' - guess that one hurt panda for the sake of the other 41 is worth it.......NOT!!!!!.

Sorry still a cynic - I did enjoy seeing the bears at the centre where they are obviously well cared for. They sat; slept & ate their ways into my heart. I hope the centre is a success; I hope it does work out a way to put the Panda back where it belongs away from the hustle-bustle + I hope that our World is a place that can be a home again. Who Knows, it may be the first step on the road to saving all endangered species.......

She-an

26-28 October

Xi'an (she-an) capital of Shaanxi province & about 7 mill live about it's fortress walls. People here like to wear trendy clothes, 'gob' and smoke.

Walked round the bell & drum towers that dominate the city centre & used to be rung + beaten to advise the time.

About 2 thousand years ago 'Maaad' Qinshi Huangdi died. In his life he only:

United China for the 1st time
Completed The Great Wall
Ate mercury tablets
Ordered about 10'000 individual pottery statues of men + horses that would stand in formation as his eternal imperial guard
Spat + Smoked a lot (probably)

The Terracotta Army and his tomb were discovered in the 1970's by a spitting; smoking farmer and his flem producing buddies. It is a fascinating; unbelievable and informative place.......+ 'Maaad!'

Later in a crappy third floor feels like pirate net cafe home to pixel-glow-faced web-junkies sat (some sleep) among a sea of electrolight + wires + tech + plastic + sweat. A firetrap as dinner + drinks circulate on trolleys. I cant access the blog 'cept to update it! - earlier today I narrowly escaped an exploding child (nothing serious - just round these parts they dont put nappies on and jus' cut out the backs of the little un's jeans....when they gotta go etc.....just missed my boots.....hahaha!)

Later still Bill Murray moment:Lost in Translation. After days of coaxing we end up in a Haoledi. Like a hotel with a drink/snack supermarket on the 1st floor, escalator up to corridors past party rooms all sound-proof. The view into the myriad rooms from our silent passage is of groups and dates singing; chattering; laughing and dancing (and probably spitting and smoking) all in silent mime from outside. Inside our room is a 3x2m box with a leather couch down 1 wall. The other sports a huge TV & the middles' tambourines & Mic's spell F U N.....(well, 'karaoke' anyway). Alan is 80, his rendition of 'Sexbomb' is Cohenesque and the highlight of a pant-wettingly good night. The Tsingtao beer flowed and is later accompanied by 'Bai Gaio' which translates as 'White Alcohol'. Nail Varnish Remover was Ali's verdict after a sniff. Scott; Michelle + I 'polish' off almost 2 bottles of the stuff.......Oh Dear!

Are bogey's really on the tracks?

First overnight on a train 1200km to Xian.

Sights: eco-solar power heaters on hutches & traffic lights; lights out @ 10 the darkness + mist a cloak for paddies; chopsticks; temples; dragons and a billion souls at rest. Ashen faced zombies wander past; our torpedo-shaped dorm 3-up bunks in blocks of 6. Uniformed staff uninformed in familiar tongues sell beer check tickets clean loo's.

Sounds: electro-fused the air hisses by; the percussion a mono-tone clack-clack-clackclack 'get-to-xian, get-to-xian' over and over. Gutteral lung wretches + snorts as the carriage dwellers expel the nights collection in greeting to the new dawn.



Auto - Suggestion: a process by which an individual trains the subconscious mind to believe something, or systematically schematizes the person's own mental associations, usually for a given purpose.

Not sure why this came up but Alan auto-suggests I take a pee in the shower..........still have cold feet at the mo so the effect has obviously not worked.......but now cant stop thinking about it whenever i turn on the taps.....

caravan:hills vs mansion:slums

The Huling charity is supported by Intrepid + is a community for people with mental & learning disabilities. Disabled people over here get a very raw deal as they recieve very little assistance or recognition form the authorites (although with the paralympics being over here in a couple of years that will hopefully change). Had lunch & learnt some calligraphy. This was followed by a rickshaw ride which took us through a couple of Hutongs......

Hutong:
Passageway where people live
Mesh of narrow lanes that thread across the city
err......'A disappearing glimpse of a time past'
umm......'The beating heart of a city who's soul is being ripped apart by corporate and political menace'
...........
...........Is slum too harsh a word.....?

Also learnt that I was born in the year of the Dog & Ali is year of the Pig......I dont need to add anything to that......do I?........

Tianamen (heavenly place) square (err....square) is BIG........

25 October

Sooo BIG a Million people could fit on it's paving (+ I reckon about half them are here right now!). A spot popular with paraders and occasionally the odd unarmed student waiting to be run over with a tank, it is a most impressive introduction to the centre of the BIG capital of China.

See the gazillions of local peeps and the odd tourist in a depressingly looong line for days to see some dead bloke in his burial chamber (Mao Zedong) despite his passing some 30 years hence (more on Mao - the Who; what & why later (I hope)).

The Square:

Tianmen Gate - North
BIG Museum + BIG Olympic countdown clock - East
Monument - Centre
Qianmen gate - South
Great (BIG?) Hall of the people - West

Onto the Forbidden City (It's not Forbidden......& It's not a city!) - It Is BIG. Lying behing Tianmen gate & once home to ancient Qing emperors & Emperor Ming (From Flash Gordon.......Probably). If I'd been listening to our guide I'm sure I could write pages but basically the *ahem* 'City' was out of bounds to most locals (forbidden) & calling it City:Forbidden sounded stupid. Boasting 9999 rooms the verile and extremely fortunate emperor filled 3000 of them with girls (concubines.....Lucky Bugger!) Some of these ladies also helped with the cleaning. The whole *ahem* 'City' is architectually astounding (and No the machine I am on doesn't have spell check!). Wonderful to walk around it kinda reminded me of the Grand Palace in Bangkok.....only BIGger......and with more Dragons....

B.T.W. - The term 'Minger' actually originates from the concubines that Emperor Ming (The Merciless) chose not to lay with as their looks were not pleasing to his eye......or something.